Annette Gibbons

The last round of chemo went even better than the first. I am just so thankful and humbled because I know it is answers to prayers. I did not feel sick at all and I had very little bone pain with the Claritin. I have also had good energy to keep up with my kiddos. I was able to take them to the pool. I didn’t swim of course! We were walking in and a kid aimed a water gun at me from the play area. He completely drenched my wig. Later, I told the kids I should have gotten mad and yanked my wig off to shake it out. That would have been hilarious, but a little shocking for everyone at the pool. lol

Anyway, I had a girls night out with Jessica and Emily at the
Scera Shell where we saw an excellent Jerry Elison production of Beauty and the Beast! The boys went to the rodeo. This is what I have been wanting for a while now . . . .girl time while the boys do their boy time (football games etc.) We had a great time at the Shell. The rodeo is fun but I’ve been doing them for years with the boys. You’ve seen one rodeo you’ve seen them all! lol I am much more excited about music, dance theater!

I was going to go up to Hope Camp Ground today to help Brian and Austin set up camp for tonight but it is supposed to rain all day tomorrow . . . .bummer! The boys have been wanting to camp for weeks and we were all excited about the idea. This June weather has been nuts.

Anyway, I do chemo every three weeks for six rounds so my next chemo treatment is July 1st. I’m just going to be enjoying summer in the meantime! Life is good!

I am doing great! Chemo went fantastic! I had very little bone pain this time with help from Claritin! Awesome huh? I can’t complain! I also received great news that I am NOT BRCA positive which is the genetic test. That is great news for my daughters! Yeah!

I am still adjusting to waking up to a bald head every morning! It’s definitely surreal. I couldn’t help but come up with our new motto . . . Better Bald than Buried! We get some good laughs out of it.

I went on a drive Sunday. I rolled down the windows in the car and just layed there with my bald head while I listened to music. It felt great!

I’m enjoying summer with my kids. I am feeling good and having fun just relaxing a bit! I feel very blessed and grateful that things are going well. Thank you!!

Wow, life has been busy with the kids out of school!  I spent the beginning of the week getting Brian off to scout camp where we learned today that they have a case of the Swine Flu up there!  Sigh . .  . On Tues. we got Jason off to his day camp at six thirty in the morning.  Yawn!  It’s taken me a while to get back to this!  It’s really good that I don’t have time to think about myself.  I think it is a blessing in disguise and one I’m grateful for!

I have truly adjusted to my alien head and a new wig.  I bop around town and no one knows I have cancer!  It’s really awesome.  I just feel like happy, healthy me!  It takes two minutes to get out of the house.  They say that cancer patients get really spoiled with their wigs and quite used to them. It’s very convenient! lol  I do feel a little ” Tom Boy” now and then so I’m getting a longer wig also for date night etc!  Pretty funny huh?  Oh well, I may as well have fun with it!  I’ll admit it I’m a girly girl! However,  I have gotten so used to my bald head!  I love to go in my room, lock the door and walk around free and easy.  It’s quite liberating.  The mirrors don’t even bother me too much!  It is what it is at this point and I’m moving on.  It feels good to be getting past it.  I didn’ t feel that way Saturday night when Lee had to buzz my head almost bald because it was itching so much.  Nothing can prepare you for the shock of seeing your head bald!  That took some courage.  I finally laughed and said I think I have my Dad’s head.  No offense Dad.  I’ve just never seen mine bald!  Anyway,  I’m banking on the thick, curly hair they say comes in after.  We’ll see!

It has truly been a tender week.  This is the bitter, sweet of trials and the sweet is just so sweet!  I’ll never forget the Saviors loving arms around me during those difficult days of losing my hair.  I’ll never forget my sweet husband so tenderly loving me through each step of it.  I’ll never forget Jason’s sweet baptism day during such a difficult time in my life.  What a precious little son.  I am so very blessed.  What a precious family I have been blessed with.  Both immediate and extended.  I can’t begin to express my love for friends and family during this time.  My dear friend brought over a poem for me today that she wrote.  It brought me to tears.  I wanted to share it because it meant so much.  I don’t think she will mind.

Dear  Annette~
Your beauty is beyond compare
It’s More than your body or hair,
It comes from a light
That is inner and bright
And a courage and faith that are rare.

It’s a loveliness seen through and through
In all that you are and you do
It’s a sparkle in eyes
That are loving and wise
And a smile that is beautiful too.

Your example shows others the way
As you brave this new challenge each day
With humor and grace
that lights up your face
You’re a MODEL in every known way!

What a sweet outpouring of love!  This is just a sample of the kindness that I receive so frequently.  Sorry for sounding trite but it is just so humbling. I feel so very blessed and loved!

Anyway, back to chemo.  I actually love going to chemo.  It is such a tender place to be.  Yesterday there were two darling little couples in their seventies fighting the battle of cancer.  In both cases the wife was going on about 2 1/2 years of chemo.   These little women were so weak and yet their sweet husbands were so supportive and loving!  It was the most tender thing to watch them serve the love of their life for so many years.  It touched me deeply.  I also met a nice friend named Rose who is 39 and has five children.  She is the R.S. President in her ward and will be in chemo with me on Wednesdays.  She said, ” I have a wig a lot like yours.  I call it my Julie Beck wig!  I tell the women I am wearing my Julie Beck wig so you better listen to me!”  Funny huh?

I am so drawn to the hospital.  I know it sounds weird but  as many of you know I did two years of pre-med classes before I got married.  I feel so drawn to work with cancer patients some day.  Who knows where this journey will lead!  I buzzed right through chemo yesterday.  Lee came and enjoyed Panda Express with me again!  I think we’ll make it a tradition! lol  I came home and did my normal Mom stuff.  I took Jessica to dance team auditions, walked the dog and felt great!  No nausea whatsoever!  I know I am being so blessed thanks to your faith and prayers!  Today I went back in for the shot I receive in order to reproduce the red blood cells and keep my energy up.  I had the opportunity to go visit Steve for a while.  That was great!  He’s such an awesome brother.

I picked up Jessica from the hair salon, took the kids to blockbuster (I’ve got to get some rest somehow)! lol  I picked up Jason from a friend’s house, fed the kids some dinner my sweet neighbor brought over and then drove to Lehi to give Shalon, Chris, and baby Brayden a big hug before they venture off on their journey to North Dakota for Law School!  What an exciting chapter for them.  I am so sad to see them go but excited for them also.  I told her I’d love to take the kids on an adventure next summer to see them!  It would be so fun to have a place to rendezvous.  I’m crazy but I love road trips and adventures!  I could travel the country.  It will give me something to look forward to.  Thanks to you sweet siblings who so graciously helped her out! I wished so bad I was in a better position to help her!

I am going to try Claritin for the bone pain this time.  They say that it really helps.  It kind of kicks in on Saturday so I’m hoping it goes a little better this time with the Claritin!  I didn’t love the achy flu feeling I had last time.  I just wanted to be a tubby baby all weekend! lol   I will keep you posted!  Thanks again!  I am going to sign off and get some rest.  I love you all so much.

Love,

Annette

I’ve been losing quite a bit of hair all week but today I lost so much that I realized I am not going to make it to Jason’s baptism with my own hair!  Yes, today I cried!  I’m going to cry it out and get back up and keep marching!  I have to allow myself those moments.  I haven’t cried since I had the mastectomy and I haven’t felt like I needed to.

I felt very comforted by the spirit today.  I am so grateful for that.  I drove up by the temple tonight and just let the spirit comfort me.   It felt so good.  I feel wonderful other than the hair loss so I know I have been very blessed!  Thank you for your prayers!!

I’m still trying to decide on wigs!  Nothing feels like me.  They all look great.  I am lucky enough to have a face shape that can wear just about anything, but I feel like I am dressing up for theater.  It’s just weird.  I hate hats and scarfs because they scream the message “I have cancer!”  I feel more comfortable just blending in when I go out in public.  I would rather not have it be the theme of my life with strangers everywhere I go.  Especially when I am with my kids.  I feel happy and healthy and I’d like to appear that way.  The wigs are really light and relatively cool so it’s possible!  Please don’t feel like I’m uncomfortable talking about it.  I just don’t want to talk cancer when I’m out in public.

Well, I got through it!  I had Lee shave my head.  I didn’t go completely bald yet!  It’s just really short.  I look like Jamie Lee Curtis (with thinning hair) in the movie Freaky Friday!  Kind of wierd.  It was surreal for both of us.  Not something we ever imagined doing together!  We first just cried as I pulled long pieces of my hair out, then we hugged each other and cried some more.  We finally got to the point where we both just laughed and got through it.  It felt good to conquer another dragon!  Lee is so sweet and supportive.  I don’t know where I’d be without him on this crazy journey!  His sense of humor is a Godsend at times like this!  Thanks again for your love and support!  Tomorrow is another day and I’m so thankful to be alive!

After one week of Chemo, I went in to see my doctor and check my blood levels. Dr. Rich said the blood work looked perfect!  He also said that  this round is a good indication of how the rest will probably go, and I really felt pretty good, so we’ll see… I am so encouraged!  I only had a touch of nausea.  Pregnancy was much worse! lol  My bones were a little achy  (kind of an achy flu feeling) because they gave me a shot the day after chemo to regenerate good cells.  ( It affects the bone marrow).   Lee and I went to the Wig Shop so I could try on wigs Saturday.  That was crazy!  Sigh . . . .  I enjoyed being at the Warren’s Sunday for Nick’s farewell.  I never thought I’d feel good enough to be there so I was thrilled to make it!!!

I know that my success with this round is the result of your faith and prayers. I can’t thank you enough!!!

Dear Family and Friends,

I’m doing well.  Lee’s going to help me start a blog so I don’t keep bugging you all with email.  You can be updated at your convenience.  Hopefully, that will be helpful.

Well,  I’m kind of in denial right now.  I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve been running to choir concerts, car pooling etc.   It’s been a busy week. We celebrated Austin’s 11th b-day on the 29th and then I threw a big party for Jason’s 8th b-day Sat.  He gets baptized June 6th around 2:30 I think.  It’s hard to believe!  He was three weeks old when Danny graduated from High School!  Anyway,  I almost have full mobility back in my arm and a lot less pain.   We saw the Oncologist  last Wed. and I start chemo on May 20th.  The kids will almost be done with school so that will be a blessing in a way.  No more car pooling and school schedules to try to keep up with.  I will be able to attend all of the end of the year stuff!  There’s always a ton!  I have to finish all of my dental work and best of all we’re going to try to pull off a family picture before Danny and Shalon take off with their little families!

I will do chemo all summer.  Chemo consists of going into a clinic at Utah Valley one day a week for a few hours and receiving it intravenously.  I will do that for two consecutive weeks and then have two weeks off.  I have a port near my neck that should make all the needles less of a hassle.  I will start losing my hair about three weeks into it!  Yuck!

People usually do OK for a few days and then crash on the third or fourth.  They have a lot to help with nausea so that is good news!  Many people hold down jobs and still keep their lives going as much as possible which is encouraging.

After a summer of chemo I will do about six weeks of radiation and then a recovery period.  I will then face reconstructive surgery, possibly another mastectomy if my genetic test comes back positive.   (If positive, there’s a 50% chance of getting it in the other breast).  They will also probably remove my ovaries because I am estrogen positive which can feed the cancer.  It’s most likely that chemo will throw me into menopause and all the side effects of that.  Bummer!  Fun stuff!  But hey, it beats the alternatives! lol  I do feel like I’m being stripped of all my womanhood in one whack!  Thank heavens for a loving and supportive husband!

From now on, I will be posting the latest updates for my progress to my blog (it pays to be married to a geek!). It can be accessed at http://www.annettegibbons.com. Please, feel free to register and leave comments if you have something to share or have a question you would like me to answer.  Thanks again for your love, support and prayers!
Lot’s of Love!

Annette

Dear Family,

Great News!!! The pathology report shows that the cancer is still stage 2 and has not spread beyond the centinol node from what they can tell.  They took 10 more nodes in this surgery and none of them were cancerous.  I have to do a full body scan to be sure before the chemo.  I still have to do chemo and radiation.

I’m also Herg 2 negative which means I don’t have to have chemo that can give you heart side affects.   Yeah!!!  Things are good.  Thanks for all the help with kiddos, the house etc. and  encouragement.  This surgery has definitely  been harder emotionally and physically than the last but I am feeling stronger every day.  Lee has been so sweet to help me with my drain tubes about every four hours night and day.  What an awesome man!

Thanks again for all the love, support and prayers.  I start chemo in about 2 and a half weeks.  I’ll admit I’m scared but I’m taking it all a day at a time.

I sure love you!

Love,

Annette

Dear Family,

I regret to inform you that things have taken a different turn than expected after surgery.  The pathology reports came back indicating that I have three different areas of cancer in my right breast.  I also have some cancer in the lymph nodes.  (The node they biopsied in surgery was fine.  However, it wasn’t the whole picture).  We knew that would be the case until the pathology report came back.  We were fairly confident (as was the surgeon) that all was well.  However,  the data is never final until the pathology report is completed.  I have a wonderful women surgeon.  She is very caring, compassionate and competent.  She works with an excellent plastic surgeon and I feel like I’m in great hands.

Anyway, this changes the game completely.  I still have excellent hope for a full recovery.  Just a longer journey in getting there.  I have to go back into surgery on Monday ,or soon, (Happy Birthday to me) LOL  – - to have a right mastectomy and to remove more nodes followed by radiation and chemo.  Bummer!  I can’t do  Brachy Therapy since the cancer is in the nodes.  They tell me it’s stage 2a if that means anything to you.  Apparently, it’s not very aggressive but is does spread (invasive) so it is not the type of cancer they had originally thought and hoped for.  Stink!!  I’m dang lucky I found the lump because it wasn’t even detected in the mammogram.  When I went in for the mammogram they couldn’t even find it.  They found it by ultrasound and MRI.

It has definitely been a long 24 hours or so since I got the news.  We have been on such a roller coaster!  I prefer the ones at Lagoon! LOL  I still feel a ton of peace and am buoyed up by the spirit continually.  Thank heavens for that.  Thank you for your prayers!  I can’t imagine life without that!  I feel like this is just another one of lives tests that I need to go through.  I also realize ,as Michael J. Fox puts it, “Happiness is a Decision”.  I aim to approach trials with an attitude of Thy Will not My Will.  I don’t ask why but what am I to learn from this as Elder Maxwell so gracefully taught us (in word and deed).  I can honestly say I already appreciate every day so much more!  I feel blessed beyond words to have been able to bear six healthy children and nurse them as infants.  (I’m very lucky that this didn’t impact my child bearing years).  We love you Emmie and Jar Bear!

I’m feeling brave once again knowing that LeRoy and I can make it through anything.  He too, is an incredible blessing in my life. Thank heavens for him!  I think he has the harder part in all of this.  He is strong and courageous as ever!  Such a wonderful example to me.  I’m also thankful for wonderful examples both living and dead who have shown me how to face trials with a smile.  Rich, Mom and Dad Gibbons, Tami and Mike, Lucie, David and Adrienne, Mom Tingey, Suzanne, my Grandma and Grandpa Smoot (whom I’ve never met but admire their journals) Grandma Austin, Mom and Dad Smoot and others who have faced very difficult private trials in such a brave manner!  The list could go on and on!

Thanks once again for your prayers, encouragement and offers to help.  I’m sure we will be leaning on many of you as we go through this journey.  Right now I’m just trying to digest one day at a time.  I know I will have many moments of weakness and will definitely rely on you for strength. I will let you know what help I might need as we go through this. However, it is a great opportunity for our little ones to step it up!   I’m also independent to a fault as most of you know. ( You don’t get married at 30 without being fiercely independent)!  Sorry LeRoy! LOL  I hope to strike a good balance of maintaining my self esteem and dignity in being as independent as possible without over doing it!

What a great blessing it is to have wonderful family nearby!  I have a lot to be thankful for.  We will be in touch soon.  Thanks again for all the love and support.  I feel humbled beyond words.

All My Love,
Annette

Dear Family,

I spent the weekend at my Mom’s recovering while I enjoyed conference.  Thanks a ton Mom!  Thanks Lee for holding down the fort at home.  Thanks Dana and Scott for letting Brian and Austin join in for conference.  I’m doing great!  I haven’t  needed the prescription pain killers.  I’ve just been taking Tylenol and feel pretty good.  I’m still a little tired but not bad.  I can’t complain.

We’re doing great!  The neighbors have brought tons of meals to freeze and have offered to help drive kids so we’re doing ok.   Thanks so much for all of the kind offers to help and thanks a ton for the faith and prayers.  It looks like my radiation won’t be for a few more weeks.  The surgeon is out of town the week of the 13th which is Spring break!  I’ll let you know how the pathology reports come out and more on the radiation!  We’ll be in touch soon!

Love,

Annette

Dear Family,

A quick update.  My surgery has been confirmed for Friday!  Yeah!!  I can’t wait to be done with all this!  Thanks for all the love.  I feel so humbled by the prayers and kind messages.  We’ll keep you posted!

Love,
Annette