Annette Gibbons

Tonight I was picking up Brian from a friends house and Josh Groban’s song, You Raise Me Up, came on the radio.  This song has always touched me and been a favorite, but tonight I felt the spirit so strong as I listened to it.   I’m sure you all know the chorus that goes something like . .. You raise me up so I can climb on mountains.  You raise me up to brave the stormy sea.  I am strong when I am on your shoulders.  You raise me up to more than I can be.

I am so grateful for the strength that the spirit gives us to be more than we can be during times like this.  I know without a doubt that I am facing this storm with a lot of help. I also think of my dear husband, Lee, when I hear this song.  He is such an inspiration and strength to me.  I definitely feel like I am strong because of him.  We will celebrate seventeen years on June 29th!  I love you so much LeRoy!!!   I never would have imagined that I would have a mastectomy and a bald head this anniversary but I am so thankful to be able to celebrate life and to be here with him.   I also think of you . . . all of my dear friends and loved ones who have shown me so much compassion and pray for me constantly.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!   You raise me up!

The last round of chemo went even better than the first. I am just so thankful and humbled because I know it is answers to prayers. I did not feel sick at all and I had very little bone pain with the Claritin. I have also had good energy to keep up with my kiddos. I was able to take them to the pool. I didn’t swim of course! We were walking in and a kid aimed a water gun at me from the play area. He completely drenched my wig. Later, I told the kids I should have gotten mad and yanked my wig off to shake it out. That would have been hilarious, but a little shocking for everyone at the pool. lol

Anyway, I had a girls night out with Jessica and Emily at the
Scera Shell where we saw an excellent Jerry Elison production of Beauty and the Beast! The boys went to the rodeo. This is what I have been wanting for a while now . . . .girl time while the boys do their boy time (football games etc.) We had a great time at the Shell. The rodeo is fun but I’ve been doing them for years with the boys. You’ve seen one rodeo you’ve seen them all! lol I am much more excited about music, dance theater!

I was going to go up to Hope Camp Ground today to help Brian and Austin set up camp for tonight but it is supposed to rain all day tomorrow . . . .bummer! The boys have been wanting to camp for weeks and we were all excited about the idea. This June weather has been nuts.

Anyway, I do chemo every three weeks for six rounds so my next chemo treatment is July 1st. I’m just going to be enjoying summer in the meantime! Life is good!

I am doing great! Chemo went fantastic! I had very little bone pain this time with help from Claritin! Awesome huh? I can’t complain! I also received great news that I am NOT BRCA positive which is the genetic test. That is great news for my daughters! Yeah!

I am still adjusting to waking up to a bald head every morning! It’s definitely surreal. I couldn’t help but come up with our new motto . . . Better Bald than Buried! We get some good laughs out of it.

I went on a drive Sunday. I rolled down the windows in the car and just layed there with my bald head while I listened to music. It felt great!

I’m enjoying summer with my kids. I am feeling good and having fun just relaxing a bit! I feel very blessed and grateful that things are going well. Thank you!!

Wow, life has been busy with the kids out of school!  I spent the beginning of the week getting Brian off to scout camp where we learned today that they have a case of the Swine Flu up there!  Sigh . .  . On Tues. we got Jason off to his day camp at six thirty in the morning.  Yawn!  It’s taken me a while to get back to this!  It’s really good that I don’t have time to think about myself.  I think it is a blessing in disguise and one I’m grateful for!

I have truly adjusted to my alien head and a new wig.  I bop around town and no one knows I have cancer!  It’s really awesome.  I just feel like happy, healthy me!  It takes two minutes to get out of the house.  They say that cancer patients get really spoiled with their wigs and quite used to them. It’s very convenient! lol  I do feel a little ” Tom Boy” now and then so I’m getting a longer wig also for date night etc!  Pretty funny huh?  Oh well, I may as well have fun with it!  I’ll admit it I’m a girly girl! However,  I have gotten so used to my bald head!  I love to go in my room, lock the door and walk around free and easy.  It’s quite liberating.  The mirrors don’t even bother me too much!  It is what it is at this point and I’m moving on.  It feels good to be getting past it.  I didn’ t feel that way Saturday night when Lee had to buzz my head almost bald because it was itching so much.  Nothing can prepare you for the shock of seeing your head bald!  That took some courage.  I finally laughed and said I think I have my Dad’s head.  No offense Dad.  I’ve just never seen mine bald!  Anyway,  I’m banking on the thick, curly hair they say comes in after.  We’ll see!

It has truly been a tender week.  This is the bitter, sweet of trials and the sweet is just so sweet!  I’ll never forget the Saviors loving arms around me during those difficult days of losing my hair.  I’ll never forget my sweet husband so tenderly loving me through each step of it.  I’ll never forget Jason’s sweet baptism day during such a difficult time in my life.  What a precious little son.  I am so very blessed.  What a precious family I have been blessed with.  Both immediate and extended.  I can’t begin to express my love for friends and family during this time.  My dear friend brought over a poem for me today that she wrote.  It brought me to tears.  I wanted to share it because it meant so much.  I don’t think she will mind.

Dear  Annette~
Your beauty is beyond compare
It’s More than your body or hair,
It comes from a light
That is inner and bright
And a courage and faith that are rare.

It’s a loveliness seen through and through
In all that you are and you do
It’s a sparkle in eyes
That are loving and wise
And a smile that is beautiful too.

Your example shows others the way
As you brave this new challenge each day
With humor and grace
that lights up your face
You’re a MODEL in every known way!

What a sweet outpouring of love!  This is just a sample of the kindness that I receive so frequently.  Sorry for sounding trite but it is just so humbling. I feel so very blessed and loved!

Anyway, back to chemo.  I actually love going to chemo.  It is such a tender place to be.  Yesterday there were two darling little couples in their seventies fighting the battle of cancer.  In both cases the wife was going on about 2 1/2 years of chemo.   These little women were so weak and yet their sweet husbands were so supportive and loving!  It was the most tender thing to watch them serve the love of their life for so many years.  It touched me deeply.  I also met a nice friend named Rose who is 39 and has five children.  She is the R.S. President in her ward and will be in chemo with me on Wednesdays.  She said, ” I have a wig a lot like yours.  I call it my Julie Beck wig!  I tell the women I am wearing my Julie Beck wig so you better listen to me!”  Funny huh?

I am so drawn to the hospital.  I know it sounds weird but  as many of you know I did two years of pre-med classes before I got married.  I feel so drawn to work with cancer patients some day.  Who knows where this journey will lead!  I buzzed right through chemo yesterday.  Lee came and enjoyed Panda Express with me again!  I think we’ll make it a tradition! lol  I came home and did my normal Mom stuff.  I took Jessica to dance team auditions, walked the dog and felt great!  No nausea whatsoever!  I know I am being so blessed thanks to your faith and prayers!  Today I went back in for the shot I receive in order to reproduce the red blood cells and keep my energy up.  I had the opportunity to go visit Steve for a while.  That was great!  He’s such an awesome brother.

I picked up Jessica from the hair salon, took the kids to blockbuster (I’ve got to get some rest somehow)! lol  I picked up Jason from a friend’s house, fed the kids some dinner my sweet neighbor brought over and then drove to Lehi to give Shalon, Chris, and baby Brayden a big hug before they venture off on their journey to North Dakota for Law School!  What an exciting chapter for them.  I am so sad to see them go but excited for them also.  I told her I’d love to take the kids on an adventure next summer to see them!  It would be so fun to have a place to rendezvous.  I’m crazy but I love road trips and adventures!  I could travel the country.  It will give me something to look forward to.  Thanks to you sweet siblings who so graciously helped her out! I wished so bad I was in a better position to help her!

I am going to try Claritin for the bone pain this time.  They say that it really helps.  It kind of kicks in on Saturday so I’m hoping it goes a little better this time with the Claritin!  I didn’t love the achy flu feeling I had last time.  I just wanted to be a tubby baby all weekend! lol   I will keep you posted!  Thanks again!  I am going to sign off and get some rest.  I love you all so much.

Love,

Annette

I’ve been losing quite a bit of hair all week but today I lost so much that I realized I am not going to make it to Jason’s baptism with my own hair!  Yes, today I cried!  I’m going to cry it out and get back up and keep marching!  I have to allow myself those moments.  I haven’t cried since I had the mastectomy and I haven’t felt like I needed to.

I felt very comforted by the spirit today.  I am so grateful for that.  I drove up by the temple tonight and just let the spirit comfort me.   It felt so good.  I feel wonderful other than the hair loss so I know I have been very blessed!  Thank you for your prayers!!

I’m still trying to decide on wigs!  Nothing feels like me.  They all look great.  I am lucky enough to have a face shape that can wear just about anything, but I feel like I am dressing up for theater.  It’s just weird.  I hate hats and scarfs because they scream the message “I have cancer!”  I feel more comfortable just blending in when I go out in public.  I would rather not have it be the theme of my life with strangers everywhere I go.  Especially when I am with my kids.  I feel happy and healthy and I’d like to appear that way.  The wigs are really light and relatively cool so it’s possible!  Please don’t feel like I’m uncomfortable talking about it.  I just don’t want to talk cancer when I’m out in public.

Well, I got through it!  I had Lee shave my head.  I didn’t go completely bald yet!  It’s just really short.  I look like Jamie Lee Curtis (with thinning hair) in the movie Freaky Friday!  Kind of wierd.  It was surreal for both of us.  Not something we ever imagined doing together!  We first just cried as I pulled long pieces of my hair out, then we hugged each other and cried some more.  We finally got to the point where we both just laughed and got through it.  It felt good to conquer another dragon!  Lee is so sweet and supportive.  I don’t know where I’d be without him on this crazy journey!  His sense of humor is a Godsend at times like this!  Thanks again for your love and support!  Tomorrow is another day and I’m so thankful to be alive!