I am feeling healthy but tired.  We have been in the middle of a crazy move.  We have moved closer to Lee’s work at the Riverton Office Bldg.  We live in Herriman Utah just South West of the Oquirrh Temple.  It will be more convenient for him and help us get a financial reset.  It was sooo difficult to leave my home of ten years.  Especially the place where I went through so many memories  (good and bad).  It was humbling to be on the receiving end of so much love.

I recently watched the video , My New Life, by Stephanie Nielson ( a plane crash survivor).  Oh my goodness what an inspiring and humbling video.  It made me feel like I will never complain about anything again in my life.   I also got teary eyed as she and her husband expressed the humility they felt by receiving such an overwhelming outpouring of love during their hour of need.

God is good.  He continues to love and protect my family.  I continue to cling to my favorite scripture.  Proverbs 3:5 –   Trust in the Lord with all thine heart.  Lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they paths.

I have been so blessed and as Stephanie Nielson would say,  “I am a lucky girl!”

I am all done with EVERYTHING!!!!  I finished radiation in November.   I seem to be doing fine.  People always ask,  “Is it all gone?”  Well, no one really knows the answer to that.  Not even the Doctors, but I have done all that I can do and the rest is up to the Lord.   It’s a hide and watch game at this point. I take Tamoxifin, a hormone pill to help.  The side effects are, a slight chance of uterine cancer (yippee), blood clots, hot flashes (hate that) and yadayadayada.   I call it my ugly pill because it has all the wonderful side effects of menopause.  I am still pre-menopausal.  I was kind of kicked into a temporary menopause during chemo.  The post menopausal drug has even more side effects.  Bone density problems, thinning hair, and yadayadayada.   But I’m not dead right?

I will be on drugs for life if I want to increase my survival rate.  Fun! Fun!  I still deal with ringing in my right ear.  It’s more like a rhythmic humming noise.  I notice it most at night.  I’m also having problems with my thumbs.  They get stiff and won’t bend.  My right thumb pooped out on me just before Christmas.  I’m seeing a Doctor to try to get it back into commission.  All in all, I can’t complain.  I’m not dead.

The stage of cancer is a random thing.  I’ve known people who were at stage 3 or 4 and completely recovered and others at  stage 1 and it came back with a vengeance!  Bottom line, it’s in the Lord’s hands.  Thy Will, Not My Will.  I will continue to follow up with my Doctors of course!  I feel very positive and hopeful.  My blessing says that I will live as long as life is desirable.  I guess if I got really sick it wouldn’t be too desirable.  hahaha  . . . . so,  I don’t really know how to interpret that.  I am feeling positive and hopeful.  I don’t let things bum me out too bad.  Life is too short for that!

Radiation was no biggie!  I quickly ran to radiation every morning with Emily.  I dropped her off at school and ran to my job as a Teacher’s Aid in the afternoon before the kids got home.  It was a crazy schedule to keep and still is, but I can’t wait to get rid of all the medical bills and stupid phone calls from bill collectors.   The financial stress has definitely been harder than the illness.  Yes, we have great insurance but as you all know , there are still co-pays, and a deductible for major medical problems etc..  (Ours was $5,000)    Thank heavens for insurance!  The deductible would have been okay if that’s all we had to worry about.  However, my diagnosis followed four weddings in two and a half  years, an ankle fusion, Jared’s major surgery and a struggling business.

We are trying to keep our chin up and keep marching forward.  We continue to feel peace during this crazy storm.   I have been desperately looking for a full time teaching position so I can make more than $12.00 an hour!  Somehow the Lord will provide.   Lee has been a trooper and is an amazing man.  Please forgive me for complaining here.  He would feel so bad.  He has been, and is, an amazing provider.  Crappenstance happens!

Lets see, what else.  Oh ya, the hair.  Lot’s of questions about the hair.  It’s coming back fine.  Pretty gray, so I dyed it . . . not ready to be sixty.  It’s actually very pretty gray.  I do make a classy older woman if I do say so myself, but I am not ready to be salt and pepper yet.  (Lee liked it . . .so hey, I know he’ll still love me when I’m old and gray lol)   I have a five year old for heaven sake!  The poor thing doesn’t need people asking me if I am her Grandma!   My hair is a little wavy and I’m trying to decide when I want to start dealing with it again.  I have NO time in my life.  The wig has saved me getting to work.  I think I’ll just wear one for life!  hahaha  Or at least until it gets hot again!  It’s been great during the winter.

Well, it’s Friday night.  Lee’s on a camp out with the boys and I have a boat load of laundry to catch up on.  By the way, I do love my job!  It’s just hard to balance home and work.   I’m working with a bilingual Spanish class and I tutor sixth grade math.  I was terribly overwhelmed with math tutoring at first, but now I love it.  It has been great to see the difference it has made for my students.  Let me know if you hear of any teaching positions. lol  If I were teaching full time, I could hire someone to do the mundane house stuff.  Where’s Alice from the Brady Bunch when I need her?   I’ve been up to my ears in house stuff for almost eighteen years.  I’m ready to have my brain challenged with a job, so I feel okay about possibly working while the kids are in school!

The kids are doing great!  I just went to their parent conferences and they are doing fantastic.  Good grades and good attitudes.  You can’t ask for more than that!   Their teachers said, “I would have never guessed you were dealing with cancer by your child’s performance.”  The kids are at peace and functioning very well.  I have tried really hard to seek normalcy at all costs.  Hey, I got a lot of good practice during my pregnancies!  I had to function all the time when I felt awful.  I also know it is an answer to prayers.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for blessing me to “breeze” through cancer as well as I have.  I KNOW it is an answer to many prayers and I feel very humbled and undeserving, yet grateful.  I love you my dear friends and family.  I know that God lives and he is very aware of us.  I know that he doesn’t always make us comfortable, but he comforts us.  We must go through “uncomfortable” things to prove our faithfulness to him at all costs.  The atonement is very real.  It can bridge the gaps in our life.  The Savior suffered for our sins AND our sorrows.  When we go through tough trials the miracle of the atonement is not that the trial changes, but that our ability to deal with the trial changes.

May God continue to bless each one of you on your journey in life.  I can’t wait to “pay it forward” someday and bless others with the same kind of love and support I have received.  I love you. . . .   we can do this life “gig”!!!  It just takes some perseverance.  Take care.  I don’t know when I will get back to this with all I am trying to keep up with, but you can assume I am doing great unless you hear otherwise.  Love ya tons!!!  Keep on keepin’ on.

All My Love,

Annette

I’m ready to be rid of an itchy wig!  My hair is growing back slowly.  It’s not  dark, thick and curly like I was hoping but oh well, I’m not buried! LOL  It’s actually growing back salt and pepper!  I’m not too excited about that, especially since I had very little grey when I started this whole process!  At least I can dye it!   It’s probably because I’ve been teasing Lee about his gray for a while now.   Anyway, all is well on the home front.  We’re busy as can be but that comes with the territory.  We had a sweet day on Wednesday at Grandma Tingey’s Funeral.  We sure loved her and the great example of kindness she set for everyone around her.  She was so good to all of us and will be missed.  However, we are grateful she didn’t have to suffer for a long time with bone cancer.  It was sweet to reunite with friends and family.

I just recieved a call about the job!  I’m a little torn because I had a chance for a job at my kids school.  However, this one is right by it!  It pays four dollars an hour more because I will be using my Spanish.  It will be in the afternoon while Emily is at school.  It will be a bit of a juggling act with my radiation, but we’ll get through it somehow!  Anyway, I need to sign off to take the boys to Karate!  Thank you so much for your continual love and support.  I am truly blessed and I know that is how I am getting through all this!  God bless you all for your goodness!

It’s late and I apologize for not keeping up on my blog better.  I have felt really good and been able to carry on with my normal life.  I’ve been lost in Facebook lately which has been so fun because I’ve been in touch with lots of old friends who have been so dear to me.  Family and friends are what this life is all about.  I have a dear friend who just recently became a Widow.  She has been such an inspiration to me and I am so thankful for her example in my life.  . ..  Cherish life . . . each day is a gift.  I love you everyone!!!  Thanks for the support!!!

Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting these last few rounds done.  My wig has been so hot and itchy in the summer.  I come home and tear it off and scratch my head like crazy! I usually just wear a scarf around the house and I sleep bald a lot because I do get hot sometimes at night with a night cap.  I don’t like to go out in the heat much. I still feel more comfortable with my wig in public.  No one treats me different or feels sorry for me so I’m a lot happier with that.  I am looking forward to getting some hair back someday!  Sigh . . . the simple pleasures in life.

I’m still doing really well emotionally.  I think of that saying all the time . . .”Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes he calms the sailor!”  I have been so blessed with peace during all this and I have felt relatively well so I can’t complain!  Once again I know it is thanks to prayers and I appreciate all the support so much!

Well, I’m off to swimming lessons with the kids so I’ve got to sign off soon.  Life still marches on!  We had a busy but nice Sunday.  Our family sang in church, Lee spoke on temples and then we had the married kids over for a barbeque so it was fun to be with them!  I’m living a rich and full life and cancer is just a small part of it.  Well,  gotta go!  Love to all!

Anyway,  I feel great today.  I ‘m going in for my follow up shot soon and that always makes my bones feel weak but doesn’t knock me flat thank heavens.  I constantly chuckle and say pregnancy was much harder.  I felt so sick into the fourth month with each one of them.  I kind of got used to just learning how to function when I didn’t feel 100% every day!  Lee is still in Nauvoo with the three older kids.  They are having an incredible experience.  Lee plays the part of Willard Richards.  He doesn’t have a speaking part but is in scenes with Joseph Smith.  It’s been a real testimony builder for each one of them! I am so grateful they are having this opportunity.  I was in the Hill Cumorah Pageant before my mission and it is such a life changing experience to be involved in a pageant.  I’m so glad these kids are getting that experience in Junior High.  What better time of life to build a deep foundation for their testimonies! I obviously miss them all so much but couldn’t be more thrilled that they are doing it!

I’ve had a great time here with the three youngest kids .  We have been to the Children’ s Museum, the Walt Wick Exhibit (I Spy Books) at the BYU Arts Museum, the Creamery, Bridal Veil Falls,  Playing at Carls Jr., Swimming in the pool out back,  The 24th of July Float Exhibit at the South Towne Expo, the Dollar Theater, Ice Age 3-D, playing with friends and cousins and almost anything we can think of that doesn’t cost a fortune to stay out of the heat!!  We plan on doing  2$ Tuesdays at the Dinosaur Museum next week and starting swimming lessons.  We even cleaned the playroom and deep cleaned some bedroom closests!  Wow, now that never happens!  lol   We all miss the big guys at home.  They play so cute with the younger ones.  The kids all crave a  little phone time in the evenings.  The cell coverage has been poor in the day so texting and calling has been out until around 11:00 at night!  We miss them a lot.  They will come home late next Tuesday.

I’ve had such a neat experience being in touch with a lot of old friends on facebook and feel completely humbled by all the comments of love and support.  It’s times like this when you realize just how rich and fulfilled life is.  Family and friends are such a blessing and truly the most valuable thing in this life!   It’s hard to believe that cancer can be a blessing in your life but it has truly been a bitter, sweet experience.  Thank you so much for your love and prayers!  Well, I’ve got to run to the Doctors soon.  Have a great day!

I hope everyone enjoyed the fourth.  I have to say I love this dear country so much.  We are so blessed to live here!  I still get teary eyed at parades and whenever I hear a good patriotic speech.  Living in a third world country for 18 months can do that to you!  I am so grateful for my mission in Peru in more ways than one.  I know it’s in situations like a mission where you learn that you are not alone and that with the Lord’s help you can do anything.  What a blessing my mission has been in my life over and over again!

My Doctor says I have one to three rounds left.  We have to talk about four rounds verses six.  It’s in trial right now.  I tend to feel if I am doing well . . . sock it to me and lets get this darn stuff out of my life!  We’ll see.  Well I have to sign off!  I need to help the boys get packed for Nauvoo tomorrow. You should see Lee’s beard.  We’re quite the pair when it comes to hair! lol  I’m so glad I am knocking out this cancer thing one day at time with your prayers!  Thanks again!

I am so grateful for the strength that the spirit gives us to be more than we can be during times like this.  I know without a doubt that I am facing this storm with a lot of help. I also think of my dear husband, Lee, when I hear this song.  He is such an inspiration and strength to me.  I definitely feel like I am strong because of him.  We will celebrate seventeen years on June 29th!  I love you so much LeRoy!!!   I never would have imagined that I would have a mastectomy and a bald head this anniversary but I am so thankful to be able to celebrate life and to be here with him.   I also think of you . . . all of my dear friends and loved ones who have shown me so much compassion and pray for me constantly.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!   You raise me up!